The awakening is definitely what I would call this. I woke up and realized my life was at a stand still and decided this is the time to do a "life overhaul". That's right, every aspect of my life needs to be rejuvenated. I'm talking about the biggies that everyone wants....true love, that dream job, home ownership, enough money in savings, a healthy weight and of course lets not forget inner peace. If I missed anything along the way, I'll be sure to add it to the list, but I think you get the gist.
So where do I begin....I guess a little background would help.
I'm 34 years old, intelligent, beautiful (inside and out, or so my friends tell me) with an outgoing personality and confidence that I've recently regained. Now someone would wonder, how does one lose their confidence....all it takes is one bad seed and that bad seed was my ex-husband. I once allowed this bad seed to set me back in life, but those days are over. I've regained myself to the person I once was before meeting him and am ready to make some moves.
I've had a good two years to get myself back to "normal". I purposely didn't date because I wasn't ready and felt uncomfortable getting out there since I gained about 40 pounds from stress and depression. I've moved back with my parents to save some money, and have stayed at the same boring job just because
1. I was lucky to have a job and
2. as the expression goes "I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up"
Essentially I was starting over.
Within the first year of my divorce, I was slowly getting myself together again. By the 2nd year, I decided to take a little more control of the situation and thought of this so called brilliant idea. I decided 2010 would be the year I resolved to do one new thing everyday....yes everyday for the whole year! And I'm happy to say I DID IT! While there were some amazing things that gave me great joy and satisfaction like Yoga, Italy, Rock Climbing, Concerts, and running into the cold ocean for the Polar Bear Plunge, there were also some desperate times where it came down to a new flavor coffee or hand lotion.
This 2010 resolution of doing something new has actually changed my life. It made me try things I never would have tried under normal circumstances. You see, in life, we tend to make excuses that were too busy, don't have money or have a fear or whatever....at the end of the day there is always opportunity to try something new, and that something can lead to other great things. I really only did this because I wanted to get back on Facebook to network for a new job and thought this would be a good way. This didn't work out exactly like I planned, but it helped me to communicate with those I wouldn't normally which in turn actually created friendships. So I guess it exceeded my expectations even though I did not accomplish my initial intention. I also thought I needed to be more spontaneous and get myself out of a general "routine" - this mission was definitely accomplished!
So this is all fine and dandy and it took my best friend to point out to me - "What you did is great but you focussed so much on the everyday that you lost sight of the big picture" - She was absolutely right. I remember stressing myself out some nights on what new thing I was going to try, I forgot about the big picture.....so here I am, January of 2011 and I am still living with my parents, still heavier than I want to be, still at the same job and still single.
So here we go ladies and gentleman, I'm tired of standing still....so I'm making moves!!!! This is my "Big Picture" year. Not a resolution, but just a re-focus.
I'm happy to say, I've begun making moves and it started on New Years Eve! I met someone in the middle of Times Square. Talk about a great start! Now don't get ahead of yourself, while exciting, this is all still new and of course cannot be rushed. Who knows if this will go anywhere. All I know is that he seems nice so far, but it's still early and we have to get to know each other more. Just one slight problem, he lives across the country on the west coast. So this will be a slow process and not exactly what I had planned, but I'm going to go along with it and see what happens. You never know, right?
Another move I finally made, is that I finally saved up enough money to buy a condo. I've been looking for about a month or so ago and actually made an offer, however negotiations didn't work and I took a break for the holidays. I started looking again, and while I haven't fallen in love with anything yet, I'm just glad I'm back in the game... and still saving in the meantime.
The next biggie on my list was the job hunt. I've got the resume revamped and ready to be sent it out. Not only am I ready to send it out, but I've got a back up plan incase the condo thing doesn't work out. What if I'm limiting myself and am not meant to live here? So the back up plan is to send out the resume nationwide rather than my state and surrounding metro areas. If it means getting my "dream job" whatever it may be, I'll suck it up and rent somewhere until I'm sure I want to buy out of state.
Lastly on the biggie list is my physical & mental health. I signed up with a diet and nutrition center (before the holidays so that doesn't count...I'm in start over mode). So the plan is in motion and once the weight comes off I'll mentally feel better too. I'm not obese, I'm just not where I want or should be and want to make this improvement in a healthy manner. I'm exercising too, but my diet is what kills me. I've got a sweet tooth that gets the best of me every time, but I'm working on this.
WOW, that's a lot of information, but I think we're all caught up right now. So here's to making moves...wish me luck!
